Imagine a middle-aged man named RETRO, wearing a white TOGA, is standing in the middle of an ARENA, thinking that his wife, a prostitute, is probably sleeping with another man. He has braces (ORTHODONTICS) on his eight upper teeth, holding a CORONA in his left hand and a leash in his right. He is sucking on a FLAVORFUL lollipop, given to him by Hugh Hefner. Attached to his back is a tangled, red-spotted, bumpy parachute. His shoes are FILA brand, and are stained with blood. Attached to the leash is his rabid dog RHABDO, who is very unhappy because he is mounted by an Austin Powers-esque nude cat from Norwalk named CALICI who is pooping all over him. Observing this spectacle is an unnamed, masked BUNNY, who is also unhappy because she is chopped up into three pieces. As Retro enjoys his lollipop, a mosquito approaches, and with Ruby-colored blood dripping from his mouth, embroiders a ruby alpha on Retro's toga. The mosquito, satisfied with the perfectly-shaped alpha, perches on the head of Paul Bunyan(who happens to be passing by), and the two of them head for the local amusement park. A beautiful, naked girl with two large breasts named REO is dancing on the sand, rotating, while experiencing massive diarrhea. She unwraps an ACORN and gives it to Retro, who swallows the acorn. After Hugh gives Retro the lollipop, he retreats to the Playboy mansion where, in the midst of a swinging party, he finds himself prostrated in the corner, with a miserable fever, clutching his aching head with one hand and munching on cookies with the other.

Retrovirus: Retro's wife is a hooker. Hookers transmit HIV. Imagine a hooker, dressed in 70's garb (she's RETRO), getting lost on her way to Las Vegas, and thus taking a circuitous, COMPLEX route. Retroviruses have complex morphology, and include HTLV (Hookers Travel to Las Vegas or Human T-cell Leukemia Virus) as well as HIV. When you have HIV you are HIV POSITIVE, so retroviruses are positive stranded.

Togavirus: remember the ruby alpha embroidered on the toga - Togaviruses include rubivirus(rubella) and mosquito-transmitted alpha viruses. Paul Bunyan, with the mosquito sucking on his head is now at six flags. He sits down on a roller coaster, and as he plummets down a particularly scary drop the people around him scream "WEE!" "EEE!" and "VEE!" The alpha viruses are Eastern Equine Encephalitis, Western Equine Encephalitis, and Venezuelan Equine Encephalitis. When you wear a toga you are usually going to a party, which puts you in a positive mood - Togaviruses are positive stranded. You don't want your toga to come apart - togaviruses are nonsegmented.

Arenavirus: The arena where Retro finds himself has an upper and lower tier (Arenaviruses have two segments) and is filled with Mexicans. On this day it is quite hot, and all the people in the arena are feverish. If you see a fever with an Spanish-sounding name (Junin, Machupo, Guaranito, or Lassa) it is an Arenavirus. There are a few Americans in the arena as well - they all have lymphocytic choriomeningitis (LCM). As it is very uncomfortable in the arena, the occupants are all feeling a negative mood - Arenaviruses are negative stranded.

Orthomyxovirus: recall Retro only has braces on his upper teeth, and that braces are made up of multiple brackets, one per tooth. Recall how negative an experience it was to wear braces. Thus orthomyxoviruses are of a single, negative, segmented strand. ORthomyxoviruses cause the ORdinary flu - influenza A/B/C.

Coronavirus: Think of a Rhino dripping snot out of his nose, holding a Corona beer. Coronaviruses (a family) and Rhinoviruses (a class) cause the common cold. You want to drink an entire, nonsegmented beer, and that will put you in a positive mood.

Flavivirus: recall that Hugh Hefner gave Retro the flavorful lollipop. The whole lollipop has a positive flavor - Flaviviruses are nonsegmented and positively stranded. Remember that he is huddled in a corner of the playboy mansion, clutching his feverish, aching head, and eating cookies. HEF stands for *H*epatitis C (C for cookies); *E*ncephalitises from places where pornography is particularly popular (Japan, Russia, and St. Louis), and *F*evers (yellow and dengue).

Paramyxovirus: remember the parachute is mangled - the whole thing got all twisted up during Retro's descent into the arena, and retro cut his feet when he crashed into the hot astroturf- a negative experience. Paramyxoviruses are negatively stranded, nonsegmented. A parachute inflates like a lung - Respiratory Syncytial Virus is a Paramyxovirus. Retro's parachute is bumpy and decorated with red dots - measles and mumps are paramyxoviruses. Of course PARAinfluenza is a PARAmyxovirus.

Filovirus: Fila tennis shoes are commonly worn by people of African descent. Imagine smoking A BOWL of tobacco culled from MARrlburo cigarettes in Africa. Ebola and Marburg viruses are Filoviruses recently made famous by their epidemics in Africa. Recall Retro's Fila shoes are blood-stained, as he crashed into the turf, and they're darned hot, because it's always 115 degrees on the field. Thus Filoviruses cause acute hemorrhagic fevers. The people of African descent who wear Fila tennis shoes often wear them laced up funny. For example, instead of using two laces, they will lace up each shoe with one continuous, nonsegmented shoelace. Thus Filoviruses are nonsegmented. If you wear Fila tennis shoes in the wrong neighborhood you'll get mugged - a negative experience - Filoviruses are negatively stranded.

Bunyavirus: recall our masked, chopped-up bunny. The important bunyaviruses are hantaviruses (the reason the bunny is wearing a mask is because she's going to a HAUNTed house) and the hantavirus relevant to us is the sin nombre or four corners virus (imagine our unnamed bunny hopping from Arizona to New Mexico to Utah to Colorado). As the unnamed bunny is in three pieces bunyaviruses have three segments. If you were chopped up into three pieces you would probably say, "Rats! I'm chopped up into three pieces!" Rats spread sin nombre virus. I hate rats, so bunyaviruses are negatively-stranded. Note that of the three animals in our image, only the bunny is chopped up. The dog Rhabdo and the cat Calici are in one piece, so they represent nonsegmented viruses.

Calicivirus: recall Calici the cat pooping all over Rhabdo. Caliciviruses cause diarrhea. Calici the cat is from Norwalk - Norwalk virus is the major virus in the family. Calici is quite happy to be pooping on Rhabdo, thus Caliciviruses are positively stranded. Also remember Calici is a furless (nude) cat - caliciviruses are nonenveloped.

Rhabdovirus: Rhabdo the dog has rabies - a rhabdovirus. Rhabdo is very upset by Calici pooping all over him, thus rhabdoviruses are negatively stranded.

Reovirus: Recall Reo dancing in the sand, nude. Focus on her TWO breasts - reoviruses are the only double-stranded RNA viruses. As Reo is nude, reoviruses are nonenveloped. Reo is ROTAting as she dances, diarrhea spewing from her naked butt, thus rotaviruses cause diarrhea. Reo is eleven years old - a year for each segment of the virus.

Picornavirus: Reo, in the middle of dancing nude, rotating, and having painful diarrhea, manages to take an acorn out of an envelope and give it to Retro, who mistakenly swallows the acorn, and feels a pain in his liver. Remember that the acorn wasn't Retro's acorn, it was HER acorn. HER: *H*epatits A (A for Acorn); *E*nteroviruses (the acorn is in the stomach-entero-think things you eat for breakfast: ECHOvirus like EGGO waffles, COXsackie virus like LOX, and, um, the Sabin polio vaccine); and *R*hinovirus.

Paul Bunyan and his trusty mosquito have seen enough ethnic diversity so they leave the amusement park, and on their way back to the forest, they pass a toga store. Paul thinks that Retro looked so dazzling in his TOGA that he buys himself one and heads for the nearest national park. The ARBOviruses (arbre=tree) are spread by mosquitoes who like the FLAVOR of Paul BUNYAN's blood. The arboviruses are bunyaviruses, flaviviruses, and togoviruses except the sin nombre virus, which is spread by rodents.

This mnemonic was created by Eric Carlisle, Chris Jones, Mer Miller, Peleg Perlmutter, Reuben Strayer and Jeff Zavaleta with help from _Clinical Microbiology Made Ridiculously Simple_ and moral support from Megan Wood.