SCENE 10

Scene opens at Richard's house, the evening of Richard and Taylor's conversation. Richard is at his desk, unloading his backpack. He pulls out a new embryology textbook, unwraps it, looks inside, pages through it. Gives us a "whatever" look, closes it and puts it down. Takes out the biochemical pathways poster, pins it on his wall to cover the hole. Stares at the poster for a few moments, scratching his head. He starts to walk out of his room, realizes he's forgetting something, then goes back to grab his backpack. He walks out and bumps into Skeeter, who is wearing a gas mask and closing a door out of which is coming thick black smoke. After he closes the door, he locks it with a key. Richard starts to speak with an expression on his face that says, "what's going on in there?" Skeeter whips off his mask and cuts Richard off.

Skeeter

Don't worry about the smoke.

Skeeter disappears down the hall. Richard stares at the door, cautiously tries to open it, it's locked. He shakes it off and walks down the hall, to the living room. Cut to living room, where Skeeter is reading porn.

Richard

Well, I'm going to study.

Richard walks toward the exit. Skeeter turns the magazine lengthwise, and speaks to Richard without looking up.

Skeeter

Yeah, right. Where are you off to?

Richard looks blankly at Skeeter. Skeeter is looking at the centerfold from several angles.

Skeeter

I lived with a med student last year; that shit doesn't work on me.

Cut to happy hour. Richard and Skeeter walk in. As they walk into the bar, Skeeter clothes-lines Richard, almost knocking him down.

Skeeter

Whoa. Look at that.

View of hot chick alone at bar.

Skeeter

Am I money?

Richard

What?

Skeeter

I am so money.

Skeeter heads right for her, leaving Richard standing there. Richard looks are around for a bit and walks up to group of med students awkwardly holding drinks. He takes a deep breath (obviously uncomfortable joining a conversation he hasn't been invited to join) and timidly approaches. The group of six guys is standing in silence, some of them gently bobbing their heads to the background music, some of them taking tiny sips of their drinks to fill the silence. One of them sees Richard approaching.

studork 1

Hey, aren't you in our class?

Richard

forcing a smile

Yeah, I am.

studork 1

I haven't met you yet.

extends a hand

I'm Allen.

Richard and Allen shake hands, and all the other studorks introduce themselves to Richard, now they're in one huge circle. Richard's hands are folded, then in his pockets, then folded again. Silence.

studork 2

So, have you guys started studying yet?

A moment's hesitation, as the six of them furtively glance at each other, then the studdorks all shake their heads and chant "no!" and "no way!" in unison, one of them making the "safe" sign with his hands, all of this as if it were a preposterous question. Richard watches them blankly. A few more moments of silence pass. Closeup on Richard.

Richard

smiles

I need a drink-

Richard's thought

heard as if it was said as a complete sentence

-or ten.

Richard heads for the bar and stands there a few moments, looks at Skeeter who is getting along famously with hot chick at bar. Richard turns back to the bar, and an attractive, tough bartender chick is waiting for him to place an order.

Richard

Hi.

Samantha fox

What can I get you.

Richard

contemplates this question for a moment

What's good?

Samantha stares at him blankly, wondering if he's kidding. After a few moments it becomes clear that Richard is not kidding, and that he expects her to answer.

Samantha

The Coors Lite is particularly good today.

Richard

Great. One of those, please.

Samantha

smiling

Coming right up.

Richard looks around the bar, and sees Carolyn and Shoopa talking to each other, next to a larger group of various med students listening to Becker talk about himself.

Taylor (OS)

Wow your roommate seems to be getting along well with the clientele.

Cut to Richard and Taylor.

Richard

Do you think she's in our class?

Cut to Skeeter taking a shot off hot chick's neck.

Taylor (OS)

No chance that girl is a med student.

Cut back to Richard and Taylor.

Samantha

Hey Taylor.

Taylor

Hey Sam, can I get a Dos Equis?

Samantha walks away. Taylor looks around the bar. Cut to Becker's group.

Becker

Surgeons are the only doctors that do anything. Nothing heals like cold steel, my friends.

Taylor (OS)

Lord. Don your flak jacket.

Cut back to Taylor and Richard. Samantha delivers a beer.

Samantha

A gunner, hmmm?

Taylor

You're getting good.

Samantha winks and walks away.

Richard

What's a gunner?

Taylor

Gunner. As in gun you down if you stand in his way.

Richard

Stand in the way of what?

Taylor

In the way of his being better than you and everybody else.

Richard digests this for a moment, but doesn't really understand it.

Richard

Why does the bartender know more about medical school than I do?

Taylor

Sam and I had a brief but passionate relationship last year. This guy will not shut up.

Cut to Becker's group.

Becker

Nothing better than opening up somebody's belly, fixing what's wrong, closing him up.

stud 1

The thought of messing with someone's insides makes me ill.

Becker

If you can't handle a little blood, why did you come to med school?

stud 1

I'm Jewish.

Entire group, including Becker

in unison, understanding

Oh.

Pause.

Becker

Well I'm here to help people, and I don't mind getting my hands dirty if that's what it takes.

Cut to Shoopa and Carolyn.

Shoopa

reacting to Becker, glaring at Carolyn

I'm not sure how much more of this I can stand.

Carolyn laughs. Cut back to Becker's group.

Becker

And I want to help out my classmates, too. That's why I'm running for class president.

Cut back to Shoopa and Carolyn.

Shoopa

shaking her head, angry at what she's hearing

You want another drink?

Carolyn

Sure.

Cut back to Becker.

Becker

I have a lot of experience in positions of authority, so I know how to delegate responsibilities.

Shoopa walks to the bar in disgust. Carolyn waves to Richard and walks over to Richard and Taylor. Cut to Richard and Taylor, Carolyn joins them, puts her hand on Richard, greets both of them warmly.

Carolyn

Hey guys.

Richard

Hey Carolyn.

Taylor

extends his hand

I'm Taylor.

Carolyn

I'm Carolyn. I went to your party the other night. Love your place.

Richard

Where's your roommate?

Carolyn

Debbie had some other party to go to.

Taylor

Is she one of us?

Carolyn

No, she's some sort of consultant, I'm not sure exactly what she does. I just met her last week.

Richard

How'd you meet her?

Carolyn

Friend of a friend.

Shoopa walks up with a drink for Carolyn. Richard's eyes light up.

Richard

Hey Shoopa!

Shoopa

Richard, are you going to run for class president?

Richard

Class president?

Shoopa

I think you should run.

Richard

Me? President?

Carolyn

tugging on Richard's arm

You'd be great, Rich!!

Shoopa

We need to come up with a slogan. You can't win without a slogan.

Taylor

He's running on the normal guy platform.

Shoopa

Elect Richard, A NORMAL GUY for class president! I love it!

Cut to Richard.

Richard

What does the class president do?

Cut to auditorium filled with screaming fans. Richard is at the podium, on stage, waving at the crowd. A girl in the crowd on top of somebody's shoulder's yells "RICHARD!!" and rips open her shirt. Cut back to bar.

Taylor

Nothing. The class president is totally useless, people run to pad their résumé. But you should totally run, I mean you've got three votes right here.

Cut to shot of Shoopa, Carolyn, and Taylor all smiling big "you've got my vote" smiles at Richard. Cut to black.