SCENE 30
Scene 30 opens with a patient taking his meal from the cashier at McDonald's, and pushing his IV pole across the seating area. As we follow this patient, we see Richard at a table, his head down, he has actually fallen asleep in his food. Close in on this, and we see a pager on the table, vibrating but not beeping. Hold for a few moments, then Carolyn walks by, chipper. She stops when she sees Richard, and shakes him, laughing.
Carolyn
Richard! Wake up! Your pager's going off!
Richard rouses, and lifts his head from his meal. One side of his face is covered in ketchup and mayonnaise, and he's sleep-deprived-delirious enough not to care. He stares at Carolyn, trying to orient himself. When Carolyn sees this disgusting mess on his face she laughs harder, grabs a pile of napkins from the tabletop, and wipes him off as she talks.
Richard
confused, looking around
Shit.
Carolyn
Rise and shine Rich! Surgery calls! 3 weeks left of third year!
Richard finally notices the vibrating pager, grabs it, looks at the display, curses and bolts out of McDonalds, leaving Carolyn standing there, laughing. She looks at his meal, which is more or less uneaten. She sits down and starts eating it.
Cut to Richard on hallway phone.
Richard
nervous, adrenalinized
Dr. Jackson!
Dr. Jackson (OS)
furious
Richard I don't give a god damn if you show up for the surgeries but we need the fucking patient! There are six doctors waiting on your sorry ass, and if the circumcision in room 412 isn't down here in three minutes I'm going to cut your dick off!!
<click>
Dr. Jackson hangs up on Richard. Richard puts the phone on the cradle and runs down the hall.
Cut to Richard sitting at the bar with a half-empty beer. He looks the worst we've seen, huge circles under his eyes, hair disheveled, with a listless expression. Taylor sits down next to him.
Taylor
Sorry I'm late. Man you look like shit.
Richard
Don't worry about it. I have to be back at the hospital in a few hours anyway, and I'm too tired to sleep.
Taylor
Tough day at the office?
Cut to Richard sprinting down the hall and bursting into room 412. He sees two men, and looks at each of them for a moment, so that it is clear to the audience that he's trying to decide which one to take down. Patient one is a normal white guy; patient two is an indian man, complete with turbine on head.
Richard
desperate
Okay which one of you is going down for surgery today?
Both men speak at the same time. The white guy speaks at a normal volume and matter-of-fact tone, while the indian patient is obviously frustrated and speaks loudly and impatiently, with a thick accent (of course).
white surgery patient
I think I'm supposed to get my surgery today.
indian surgery patient
I have been waiting for three days!! I am in pain doctor!
Richard is obviously so distracted by the indian man that he never even considered the white guy. He moves toward the indian patient.
Richard
to indian patient
I'm not a doctor.
indian surgery patient
My family has been waiting!
Richard starts pushing the indian patient out of the room.
indian surgery patient
Three days I have been away from work! How am I to feed my family, doctor?
Richard
I'm not a doctor.
Cut back to bar. Taylor now has a beer.
Taylor
Okay, so you got him down there, and your R5 was pissed because you were late. No big deal, Senior residents are always pissed.
Richard looks at Taylor with hopeless eyes. He looks back at his beer and exhales deeply as he closes his eyes, about to recount a painful experience.
Cut back to room 412. Richard is standing there, expressionless. The indian man is pacing around with nothing on but a huge penis bandage, which takes the form of a diaper. He is in a tornado of a rage, screaming, hysterical. He is joined now by his wife, a traditionally dressed indian lady, who sits in a chair, sobbing. The white patient placidly rests in his bed.
indian surgery patient
livid, with thick accent
How could you do this to me! I have been disgraced! I will be rejected by my community and it is your fault!
He points squarely at Richard.
indian wife
crying
My religion forbids me to make love to a circumcised man.
indian surgery patient
I can not have more babies, and I only have nine! What kind of man only has nine children? You have ruined my life!!
Indian man doubles over in pain.
indian surgery patient
in obvious pain
And my belly! Oooh it is worse than ever! I will have my wife place a curse on you!!
He addresses his wife in his native dialect.
indian surgery patient [in native dialect]
to wife
Put a hex on this stupid motherfucker.
Wife rises, and lifts her arms as she begins to chant a fierce chant directed at Richard. Richard tries to sneak to the door. The indian patient, who has fallen to the ground in pain, crawls toward Richard in an attempt to restrain him. Wife continues to hex Richard.
indian surgery patient
Oh no you don't! Come back here!!
white patient
Hey, my dick still hurts! Am I going to get my surgery?
Richard exits as indian patient rises and approaches the door. From the outside, we see Richard close the door on the indian patient's penis cast. He wails in pain, which we hear overlapping the cut to Dr. Cox's reception.
Cut to Dr. Cox's reception. Richard is seated in a chair along the wall, and we can see the closed door to Dr. Cox's office. We hear Dr. Cox screaming at Dr. Jackson from behind the closed door.
dr. cox (OS)
muffled screams
God dammit Jackson!
We hear something crashing, breaking, inside Dr. Cox's office as we see Richard sit there placidly.
dr. cox (OS)
muffled screams
You want me to get my license revoked?
Another crashing, breaking object.
DR. cox (OS)
muffled screams
Is that what you want? Get out of here! God dammit!
The door opens, and we see Dr. Jackson walk out with head down. We hear Dr. Cox more clearly now.
dr. cox (OS)
more clearly, starts at low volume and gets angrier, louder
If you don't see me in the OR tomorrow morning it's because THEY FIRED ME!! GOD DAMMIT!!
Dr. Jackson passes Richard and shoots him a brief, scornful look.
dr. cox (OS)
bellowing
Cartwright! Get in here!
Cut back to bar, Richard's and Taylor's beer nearly empty. Taylor is laughing, slapping Richard on the back. Richard has his elbow on the bar, and his hand covering half of his fatigued face.
Taylor
Shit Richard, that's funny.
Richard
Taylor I'm not sure I can make it another three weeks.
Cut back to rounding room door, presumably just after Dr. Cox's floggings. Richard, who is holding a white styrofoam cup, pushes open the door, and the team is sitting there, solemnly, obviously affected by the mistake. Richard approaches cautiously, and hands Dr. Jackson the cup. Dr. Jackson holds his gaze on Richard, then smells the coffee.
Dr. Jackson
with measured, patronizing calm
Nope. Sorry Richard, but this is not my coffee, though I admit this cup does look like the one I described. I'm going to have to ask you to go back down to the second floor and find my coffee.
Richard
This is the only coffee in the lounge, Dr. Jackson. I'd be happy to buy you a new cup of coffee.
Dr. Jackson
No, I want that particular cup of coffee. If it's not in the surgery lounge, it must be in the cafeteria. Check there.
Cut back to bar. Richard's beer is empty, Taylor has a few gulps left.
Richard
I don't like the hospital. I don't like the patients and I don't like the doctors, lord knows they don't like me.
Taylor
Everyone feels that way Richard.
Richard
I've been telling myself that for months, and it's just not true. There's being stressed out and then there's hating - really hating - your life.
Silence. Richard and Taylor stare straight ahead for a few moments. Taylor finishes off his beer. Richard speaks after a suitable pause.
Richard
Have you noticed that every doctor in the hospital over the age of forty claims to have tried to save President Kennedy?
Taylor
smiles
Yeah. There must have been 400 people in that operating room.
Pause.
Taylor
You need to get home and get some sleep. How many patients are you carrying?
Richard
Well I got to pick up my intern's patients, which brings my total to 29.
Taylor tries to suppress a laugh, but can't, and starts laughing. Richard starts laughing too.
Cut to Richard climbing into bed. He switches off the light and after a few seconds of silence, we hear impossibly loud clanging noises from above. Richard puts the pillow on his head, to no avail.
Cut to Richard knocking on the forbidden door. Skeeter pokes his head out.
Skeeter
Yeah?
Richard
Hey man, I haven't slept in two days and have to be back in the hospital in less than three hours.
Skeeter
Hey, no problem dude.
Skeeter slams the door. Cut back to Richard climbing into bed, settling down, and the clanging begins again. Cut to black.