List of Scenes

Scene 1

Richard arrested at graduation. Monologue – reasons parents encourage children to become doctors. This monologue is narrated over a montage of scenes where the “monologue” is mixed in with actual footage of the parents at the party. Some of the lines in the monologue are stated by Richard and some by the parents.

Scene 2

1970’s – Six year-old Richard with mom at doctor’s clinic. Mom (Nurse?) goes down on doctor.

Scene 3

Medical school orientation. Richard meets Taylor, who is handing out flyers to his party

Richard meets Shoopa. He fumbles, she thinks he’s cute. Becker sits next to them, makes an awkward situation worse by throwing an insult at Richard. Shoopa is disgusted by Becker, but everyone else laughs.

Scene 4

Richard meets his new roommate, Skeeter. Skeeter is a heavy set furry guy who is shirtless, waring a construction belt, and happier than shit to meet Richard. Richard walks up to a beat up house, and looks around at the shifty neighborhood. In the street, there is a black guy yelling at a black chick – she slaps him and struts off, he runs after her, yelling. Richard stands at the front door and drops two pieces of luggage. As he is about to knock, and a chain saw comes flying through the door and rips the door into two pieces. Skeeter stands there sweating profusely, covered in sawdust. “Richard!?! I’m Skeeter, man! Let me show you your room!” Skeeter kicks some shit out of his way, and walks into a room that appears as though someone else has been residing there for several years. “The dude that lived here before just took off about a month ago, and never came back for his stuff.” Skeeter slaps up a poster that had become undone at the top edges, revealing a large hole in the wall. Skeeter picks up Richard’s flyer, and exclaims “So there’s a party going on tonight?” “Yeah, well it’s not really a party. I mean, it’s just a bunch of students…” “Oh man I love parties. I love meeting all the chicks, and just spanking them all night long in my love den. Oh, it’s gonna be good, man.” “No, you really don’t want to go… it’s more of a meeting really… not a party… just some medical students… yea… won’t really be fun” “So you’re in doctor school, man?” Skeeter adds. “Well yeah, I mean I’m starting medical school…” “Cool, so I got this rash in the crack of my ass that’s totally killing me. Can you take a look at it?” “Well… we really haven’t gotten to the chapter on Rashes yet… you know… being our first day and all… Whoa!!!, yeah, that kinda looks pretty bad, so you might want to ah…you might want to see your doctor about that.” “My who?” The scene continues with Richard trying to get this guy out of his room. He tells him he needs to unpack and get ready for the “meeting” they are having tonight and directs him toward the door… finally getting him out of the room he shuts the door behind him and sighs.

Scene 5

Richard at home, preparing for the big party, deciding what to wear. Tries on outfits in front of his mirror (This is done in a montage fashion, while he is listening to music) He goes into the bathroom with one of the worst outfits he has tried on and is holding a bottle of Scope, talking to his image, practicing his “lines.” Looks like a nice guy who tries way too hard. He falls down while looking in to the mirror and Skeeter comes in and says, “dude…I’m not really sure that floor is clean enough for you to be hanging out down there…” Richard thanks him for his “kindness” and makes his way out of the house without taking Skeeter with him. He drives to the party telling himself that he will, “be cool when he gets there”. This is a very awkward moment for the audience to watch because Richard is admitting he is uncomfortable in social situations. Party. As Richard walks through the crowd, he passes a small group of non-students, which are overheard saying, “Have you met Taylor? The guy who’s house this is? Oh, yeah, he’s totally cool. I met him last year through my friend…” People are courteous to Richard, but nobody’s really interested in stopping to talk to him. He on the other hand is VERY eager to meet and talk to everyone… even if they don’t’ seem too interested in returning the favor. Walks past a small group of dorky med students, one of whom is clearly trying to impress a nearby female when he claims that he came to med school because he wants to help people. He finally ends up at the keg by himself, trying to figure out how it works. Reuben is in the background, making overly direct hostile comments to everyone who passes by: “your conversation makes me want to put a bullet in my head.” All of a sudden he sees a girl at the very edge of the party that he semi-recognizes and Neil Diamond’s Summer love starts to play as the scene slows down and this girl (Shoopa) walks erotically (at least in Richards mind) towards him… he is filling his beer and it starts to overflow onto his shoes as the song dies out and Shoopa says, “Hey… Hey… you’re spilling your beer on your shoes”… She kinda laughs in a cute sort of way and Richard tries to recover by asking her if there is a bathroom here. She laughs again as if to say… well of course you stupid idiot there is a bathroom here… but, instead just says, “yea… it’s right up stairs on the right.” Richard makes his way clumsily upstairs and Becker opens the door to the bathroom just as Richard is about to enter. He says… “Dude… this one isn’t working (even though the toilet is flushing behind him), you better go to the other one” and points to the one at the end of the hall. Becker says, “you wouldn’t want to leave anything behind”… slaps him on the back… “you know… that might be embarrassing.” Richard thanks him for his kindness and opens the door at the end of the hall, against resistance, sees strip poker game going on. (Camera from inside room.) “Pair of deuces, Taylor, drop those shorts!” Taylor stands up to drop his pants as Richard shoves the door open. “Shut that fucking door!” Taylor yells, as Richard backs up and falls hard-core down the stairs. The party immediately grinds to a halt and everyone glances over at him, and then looks away as Richard stands up. A moderately cute girl in the corner (Carolyn) recognizes him “Richard Cartwright? Oh my god, are you OK?” Richard “Carolyn, wow, I haven’t seen you since 8^th grade.” There conversation is followed outside the party as Richard is trying to make a quick escape. Dale speaks to two young men: “Ever seen a dead body?” “If you stare long enough into their eyes, you can almost feel their soul rising up and leaving the room.” Becker speaks to three non-medical girls, and through his conversation demonstrates his severe narcissistic personality as well as his ability to be a complete dick to strangers.

Scene 6

First day of anatomy, in the lecture hall. Dale (dressed VERY Goth and is really freaking everyone out by his actions/personality) paces the front of the class, introducing anatomy dissection – talking about the dangers of dissection, and the respect that the bodies deserve. Periodically he seems to focus on one of the students (first a girl, then a guy) during his talk, migrating in their direction in an attempt to personalize his interaction (He is actually flirting with these people in a VERY inappropriate way). Spliced into this scene are students walking into the laboratory, looking at the numbers on the side of the tanks, finding their assignments – funeralesque feeling, mild whispering, a few students with a hand kept close to their mouth. Dale in the lecture hall finally wishes the students “good luck,” and the scene goes to the lab full time. Students are shuffling about, Richard fumbles with dissection manual and checklist and Netters – he is VERY happy to see that Shoopa is his lab partner and almost exclusively talks with her (almost overdoing it as if to overcompensate for the events of the night before) while trying to impress he with his knowledge of the whole “anatomy” thing but is really just talking shit… he says, “yea… these tanks are tricky… you really have to know what your doing to get the body up correctly.” He tries to raise his cadaver with his foot and it is caught on the tank as a wave of formaldehyde drenches him. Again the whole lab comes to a screeching halt as Shoopa comes up to console him. Becker smirks and slaps Richard in the head “nice work, buddy” while walking by and Shoopa runs after him. They have a conversation that basically boils down to, “why did I ever date you?” This conversation reveals their dating history and current dynamic, while Richard continues to fumble in the background. All the while looking at Shoopa and Becker and trying to clean the formaldehyde off of himself.

Scene 7

In the Dean’s office. Two beat cops take off their hats and sit down across the desk from the Dean and the Police Chief. The Chief says, “The Dean has asked me to relay his concerns about the safety of our campus.” The Chief goes on to ask his officers to focus on jaywalking and other “important” issues, in order to keep our students and faculty safe from the speeders. The Dean chimes in once or twice with a comment that has obviously been triggered by a word from the Chief, but has nothing to do with the topic. The Chief is not amused at all, and warns the beat officers to keep cool, and not to shoot from the hip like last year’s fiasco when they arrested that guy “the mayor’s wife” for impersonating a woman just because she was a little hairy… (foreshadowing the upcoming false-crime scenes).

Scene 8

End of first day of anatomy. Richard comes out of the lab still drenched in brown chunky fluid, and runs up to Taylor who is walking towards his car, and taps his shoulder. Taylor looks disgusted, and utters under his breath (something to the effect of…) “Jesus, what did you… jump in the cadaver tank?” Taylor realizes that Richard was THAT guy at the party. Richard apologizes to Taylor for barging in on the strip poker game, and explains, “I think that guy Becker kinda set me up.” Taylor apologizes for yelling at him, and casually advises Richard to “watch out for that guy – although he doesn’t really know him he seems like a total prick.” Dialogue between two guys as they walk to the parking lot. Richard comments on the awkwardness of the party, and expresses his dream about becoming a noble doctor whom everyone will respect and admire. Richard is proud of who he will become, and has a grand sense of the self-worthiness and respect that he will “magically” acquire from graduating medical school. Taylor probes deep into Richard’s motivations for coming to medical school, and ridicules him (jokingly) for holding such a naïve view of what doctors do and what they are all about. He also questions the reasons behind most people’s choice and pokes sarcastic fun at his classmates for being much like Richard. Richard turns things around by asking, in an almost sheepish tone, why HE (Taylor) came to medical school. Taylor admits that his father, grandfather, and great-grandfather were all physicians and tradition/expectation played most of the role in getting him to this point. He likes the “idea” of medicine in its purist form, but has seen his father become increasingly disheartened with the state of medicine and physicians themselves. He is as critical of himself as he is of the others in his class, and questions everyone’s motives (medicine has an aura of goodness around it that masks much of peoples real reasons for becoming doctors). Richard is intrigued with Taylor as a person, but does not want to believe it – at least not at this early part in the film. In this scene, we learn something about what kind of families these guys came from, and what goal each has set for themselves, including why each has come to medical school. Each has strikingly different points of view (Taylor feels that everyone – including himself – has ridiculous/greedy reasons for going to med school… although he hopes there are some true physicians out there, and Richard maintains his view that there is something noble about the study of medicine and becoming a physician), but this is NOT a debate – it is merely an exchange of ideas between two new future friends, each appearing as valid as the other at this point in the story. This conversation outlines our theme – namely that people go into medicine with falsely grand expectations about who doctors are and what they do. Ultimately each person in the audience will decide whether either of these views are valid. Scene ends when Taylor reminds Richard about the Happy Hour that the “greedy bastards in the class” have every Tuesday, and Richard agrees to show up.

Scene 8a

Good place for the roommate to interact with Richard and then end up coming to the “happy hour” with him

Scene 9

Happy hour. Richard pulls up in his beat-up hand-me-down station wagon and looks around cautiously. Inside the bar, Shoopa is holding a glass of white wine, and standing next to Becker, who is working hard to impress a small group of Asians as he asks them to vote for him in the upcoming class-president election. Shoopa is disgusted, but becomes pleased and very amused to see Richard enter the bar in a way only Richard can. He uncomfortably takes a seat at the bar, and when approached by the waiter, doesn’t have a clue what to order. “Do you guys have any Rum here?” The waiter lists off five kinds of Rum, and then Richard asks for the Bacardi. “Oh, and would you mind putting a little orange juice in that?” The waiter picks up Richard’s five-dollar bill and informs him that it’s $5.50. “Oh, here it is right here,” and hands him two quarters as Shoopa sits down next to him. “There’s something different about you…” She is intrigued by him. She urges Richard to run for class president not because she really thinks he can win but because she dislikes Becker so much. Richard objects to it, but “will think about it.” Taylor walks up to the bar without noticing Richard and Shoopa sitting next to him. He orders a Dos Equis. Richard is excited to see him, and calls him over to meet Shoopa. Shoopa says “Nice to meet you Taylor,” and walks off. Taylor eyeballs her ass as she walks away, and Richard asks Taylor what he thinks about the election. “A bunch of bullshit. Now, normally I won’t be talking about school issues when I’m out, but I’ll make an exception this one time. Look around here at all these small groups of people.” And Taylor launches off on a criticism of the cliques in the class (Gunners, Indians, Blacks, Asians, Jews, Christian Right, Shoopa/Dean) He does not express anger or disgust with these groups. He expresses amusement, and merely states the facts as he observes them. Some of this conversation between Taylor and Richard are filmed here in the bar, and others are continued on campus. He concludes with a comment about the election in support of Richard running against Becker (not because he thinks Richard will win, but because he is eager to see things shaken up).

Note: scene 9’s description of shoopa’s family needs to come after Richard questions her in scene 10… maybe we should divide up the end of scene 9… part before scene 10 and part after… this way… richard can just ask taylor, “what the heck is up with shoopa’s family”

Scene 10

A few days pre-election. Shoopa, Carolyn, and Richard at Shoopa’s apartment, in her bedroom. Shoopa and Carolyn lay on the carpeted floor with some poster board and colored markers in hand. Richard is standing at a wall, staring up at a photo of Shoopa’s family. Richard wants desperately to impress Shoopa. He makes a stupid comment “So are you guys adopted?” “No, my parents are just really light skinned.” Richard then tries to explain himself out of his comment and ends up digging himself deeper into his stupidity. Shoopa breaks Richard’s explanation with “OK, I think it looks great.” And holds up a poster for Richard to see “VOTE RICHARD CARTWRIGHT for Class-President. The poster is horribly feminine looking, complete with pink flowers and wide-bubbly lettering – obviously Carolyn’s doing. Richard comments, “It looks fantastic.” Carolyn peeks out from the side of the poster, looks up at Richard through her thick glasses with sheer admiration, and says “Richard, I think you’re gonna be great.” It is obvious from this scene that Richards is completely in love with Shoopa and Carolyn is completely in love with Richard… this creates some awkward moments…

Scene 11

Election day. Full lecture hall, awaiting campaign speeches. Richard’s poster is up on the back wall of the room behind the podium, along with several other posters. “CHING CHEN for the President,” and others. Big banner across the wall “Vote Becker” with a huge picture of Becker’s smiling face in the middle. Back stage, Shoopa gives a pep-talk to Richard, supporting his campaign and boosting his confidence. Richard is apparently nervous about this election, and doesn’t have much faith in himself. Becker walks up to Richard/Shoopa, surrounded by his “bitch-chick” posse. Becker wishes Richard good-luck in a sleazy-sarcastic tone. Melanie makes a comment expressing friendliness to Shoopa regarding a daily study-group that she would like Shoopa to join… she says, “B’s don’t get you anywhere you know.” Shoopa responds with a half-hearted “thanks,” and Richard tries to get in on the action “Oh, that sounds like something I could really benefit from.” Melanie responds “Um, I don’t remember inviting YOU, LOSER.” Richard searches for a response, but is interrupted by the Dean. “OK, lets get started here folks.” The Dean quiets the noisy classroom, and introduces the first candidate, Ching Chen. Ching Chen nervously shouts some incomprehensible anger into the microphone, in a Hitler-esque militant fashion. One Asian dude in the back row stands and applauds, and quickly stops when he realizes he’s alone in his excitement. The next candidate is Okemah, who defends the fact that he was accepted to med school on his own merits, without the help of affirmative action law, and then pleads for black equality. Next a confident Becker, who receives a round of applause. Then Richard, who is nervous and the scene ends in the middle of his speech…[pops into next scene]

Scene 12

Becker has won the election. He walks the hallway with his now very large posse of asshole gunners. Wally is speaking to him as if he’s Becker’s best friend, knowing however that Becker would drop his ass in a second if there were ever a disagreement. Wally is kissing Becker’s ass with comments like “I knew you’d take that election, man, for sure,” and bagging on the other candidates, as if they were still a threat to Becker’s position. As they walk, several classmates approach with congratulatory remarks and hand shakes, mostly matter-of-factly put – without genuine admiration. As they pass Shoopa, Wally makes a nasty comment to her. Becker corrects Wally, and Wally nervously corrects himself. (We could work in the dean in this sequence)

Scene 13

Beat officers (Jim and Buddy) walk together on campus having a ridiculously meaningless conversation, passing the Dean, who is dressed in his wife’s gown, digging up flowers from the soil. Officers waive hello to the Dean and continue walking into a building. Their conversation continues until Jim hears a strange noise coming from behind one of the laboratory doors. He tells Buddy to shut up for a second, and motions in the direction of the noise. The two men slowly open the door and peak in, seeing a retarded animal-tech talking to a pig. “Oh, you’re my favorite piggy and nobody ever’s going to hurt you, OK piggy? Because you’re MY piggy, and nobody can ever hurt my piggy!” Jim springs into action. “And what exactly do we have here?” “Hello, this is my piggy… we were having tea.” Jim interrupts him “Son, are you making love to the animals?” “Yes, I love ALL of the animals, but my favorite is this little piggy right here… do you want to make tea with us.” “I don’t care what you crazy kids are calling it these days… all I know is that you better bring your supervisor in here.” An annoyed lab director enters the laboratory and demands “Can I help you officer?” “Yes you most certainly can, if you’d kindly explain what this RETARD over here is doing with the animals.” In a condescending tone, the director explains that “Franklin is our animal keeper. He makes sure they get everything they need.” “Oh I can see that he does, and let me just tell you something, OK? I didn’t spend six years working as night guard over at the Wal-Mart, without learning a few things, pal.” The director utters a few words and walks out the back door. “That’s right sir, so I’ll be talking to you real soon, you hear?” Jim and Buddy continue down the hall, congratulating each other on a fine job.

Note: I think maybe jim and buddy must be scolded in the very next scene… I want to make this scene very harsh and I think that will soften the blow. The chief could get a letter of complaint from the lab director and read quotes from jim and buddy back to them.

Scene 14

Becker and his posse walk into the Anatomy Lab. The room is dark, except for a single surgical lamp that over-lights a cadaver. Dale stands over the cadaver, applying nail polish to a big toe. Without looking up, Dale says “So are you boys ready for the exam next week?” Becker responds “Oh, hi Dale, how you doing?” “I’m fine. Gather around here and I’ll show you boys something.” Dale begins a monologue on the wonders of death and the rising of the soul. Becker’s group drops off one at a time, until it’s Becker and Dale standing across the body from each other. Dale hints around the possibility of giving test answers to Becker, but never explicitly states it. Becker looks up at Dale, searching for a facial expression that would reaffirm his suspicion. Dale looks back at Becker, and smiles.

Scene 15

(I think this scene would be funny if all the asian stuff was subtitiled???)

In the library. Group of six Asian women sit at a large desk up against a wall, some studying, some eating re-heated noodles from Tupperware containers with chopsticks. One of them softly inquires, “Does any of you know if there’s a Netter’s Atlas here in the library?” “Oh, I think there is – I think Shen was looking at it yesterday.” There brief exchange is then interrupted by a loud voice nearby. The Asian girl leans forward and whispers to her group “Oh, she is so loud!” and a few Asians begin to giggle. At an adjacent large desk, Melanie stands and delivers an anecdotal speech to five gunner-bitches, who sit in admiration as Melanie blows sunshine up her own ass speaking openly about the importance of grades and rec’s in obtaining a “proper” residency. Melanie is speaking twice as loud as she needs to. Suddenly Melanie lowers her voice to a normal level, looks over at the Asian table, and looks back to the gunner-bitches: “Oh my God, can you guys smell that? I think that is dog… I swear… I REALLY think that’s dog! How can they eat that nasty crap? They’re so cheap.” One of gunner-bitches asks of the group, in a semi-snobbish tone “Are they in our class?” At a third table in the library, Shoopa sits at a desk with Carolyn. Shoopa expresses concern about the upcoming anatomy exam. Carolyn tries to ease her mind, but fails terribly, and then warns of the dangers of the gunner-side… how someone can loose touch of what is really important in live. Short monologue by Carolyn regarding the importance of balance in life, including a search for non-grade factors in evaluating one’s self. Shoopa nods in agreement, but clearly does not get it. Becker walks over to the table, and asks Carolyn to excuse him and Shoopa for a minute. Carolyn smirks, and then stands up and walks away. Camera closes in on a private conversation between Becker and Shoopa. Becker reveals his excitement about how prepared he is for the anatomy exam. Shoopa expresses jealously. Becker subtlety suggests that he has received the answers to the exam from an undisclosed source. Shoopa is surprised, and expresses her confusion as to why he would need to go to such lengths for an ‘A.’ Becker responds, “Because I don’t want an ‘A,’ I want the highest grade in the class.”

Scene 16

Montage with music, broken up with a few spoken scenes. 1) Richard, Shoopa, and Carolyn hanging out at Richard’s house, studying. 2) Test taking. 3) Shoopa opens up her mailbox and discovers an “83” test result. She is upset and concerned Carolyn pats her on the back. 4) Shoopa and Carolyn at their table in the library, studying. Carolyn leaves. Melanie comes over and sits down next to Shoopa and smiles. 5) Richard, Shoopa, and Carolyn at Richard’s house. Richard and Carolyn are at first studying and then fooling around, while Shoopa tries to study the whole time. Shoopa becomes frustrated and eventually leaves. 6) Test taking. 7) Shoopa and Carolyn at the mailboxes, checking their grades. Shoopa picks up an “85,” and is even more upset and concerned than last time. In a separate scene the music breaks for a moment… looks like later on that night, Taylor walks up to his mailbox, opens it, and comments about the junk mail as the camera looks through the slots from inside the mailroom. Suddenly Wally slides into the scene with his test result in hand, holding it up triumphantly, while leaping in the air and shouting, “Hell yeah, buddy! A ninety-fucking-nine!” Taylor stares straight ahead and smiles in disgust. Then he turns to Wally and makes some comments to him that are so subtly sarcastic that Wally thinks Taylor is serious. “Wow, hey bro, that’s tremendous work there – congrats. Give me five… hell give me ten. Last time I scored that high I drove directly home and beat myself off.” Wally laughs, offers his sincere thanks, and struts off. Taylor looks straight ahead again, smiles, and utters “If I only had a sharp object to jab into my eye!!!.” 8) Carolyn and Richard back at their table in the library, studying. 9) Shoopa is now sitting with the gunner bitches and Becker in the library. Gunner bitches are talking about how well they performed on the exam, trying to be as modest as they know they should be, but totally bombing. Camera closed in on Shoopa. One of bitches makes a crack about how lame Richard and Carolyn are “I can’t believe that guy thought he’d beat you in the election, Becker.” Shoopa agrees “yeah,” with a smile, while we hear Becker’s response in the background - a couple pompous sentences about himself. Meanwhile the camera is still on Shoopa, whose smile suddenly fades as she looks over at Richard and Carolyn’s table.

Scene 17

Richard and Taylor standing at the bar, talking about the difference between Jews and Christians. Three young nice looking women walk up to them and one of them say hello while the other two stand off to the side “hi Taylor.” They all look giddy. Taylor pauses briefly and then responds “Tiffany, nice to see you, how you been?” “Great.” Pause. “Meet my friend Richard, here. He’s in school with me.” Tiffany looks up at Richard with all the admiration and mystery that laymen have for doctors. “Oh, so you’re in medical school too?” “ahh… yea… me… yea… yea… yea….” What occurs after this is a brutal conversation about medical school where no “laymen” really understand what sequence you take to become a doctor… “So you’re doing a internship”. Taylor says, “damn straight”… it’s kinda amusing. “Do you know like… your… what your specialty is?” “Ahhh… well… I… well… No, I’ve got a few more years before I get to make that decision.” “Oh, well that’s cool. So how much longer do you have?” “Before I die?” Richard says in a serious tone… Tiffany giggles, and Taylor notices Becker walk into the bar with Wally and they sit at a small table. Taylor looks over at Becker and then at Richard and says, “Hey… isn’t that… that dude Becker… who fucks with you all the time at school.” Richard says, “ahhh…. Yea… well… he is really a pretty nice…” Taylor cuts him off, “I have an idea… watch this” As the sound of the bar fades away and music starts Taylor is seen whispering something in one of the girls ears and she smiles and immediately walk toward Becker as Taylor heads for the bar. From a short distance, the camera sees Taylor walk up to a middle-aged drunk sitting at the bar, he shakes his hand as if he has known him for a while and then hands him a fifty dollar bill. The music fades as the girl Taylor was talking to reaches Becker and Wally and she is heard saying, “oh my god… aren’t you that cardiologist that I met here the other night.” Becker looks at Wally kinda funny and then says, “yea… wow… I thought I’d never see you again… how have you been.” A small conversation takes place, in which this girl is acting like she is infatuated with Becker (and I mean REALLY over acting) and the music kicks in again. At this point you see Taylor kinda laugh, and shake hands with the bartender… they have words and both laugh as the drunk stagers across the screen in front of them, excusing himself, and stumbles over to the other side of the bar, close to where Becker and his date are seated. The drunk clutches his chest with his right hand, and collapses to the ground gasping for his breath. The music suddenly stops… the crowd in the bar is now staring at the scene unfolding before there eyes and the bartender yells, “is there a doctor in the house.” Becker’s date screams jumping up and down, “yes… yea… right here… right here!!!” Becker and Wally are fucking stunned… Becker jumps up and stands up, and nervously shouts, “Are you OK, sir? Holy fucking shit, man!” From the other side of the bar, Taylor shouts in his deepest voice, “Someone call a doctor, for Christ’s sake.” Becker reflexively shouts back “Is there a doctor in here!!! Oh my god… someone call a doctor… oh… please… oh my god… oh!!!” Meanwhile the drunk has stood up with a smile on his face, grabs his glass off the counter, and takes a swig. The girl Taylor sent over to Becker says, “what… you… i… you fucking liar” and throws a pint of beer in his face. He utters “Dammit,” Becker looks up and sees Taylor and Richard standing in front of him, Taylor is laughing as well as most of the people in the bar except Richard who is completely stunned… All of a sudden the scene switches to Taylor, Richard and the two girls involved in the scene driving in Taylor convertible singing at the top of their lungs, Jessie’s’ girl by Rich Springfield.

Scene 18

Jim and Buddy walk a crowded hallway with their lunch pails and have a seat at a centrally located table. Jim explains the finer points of security. He is not smart, not orderly, just a total idiot. They see a group of Chinese women (about 20 or so) followed by an older Chinese man who is speaking softly to a large Arab Sheik. Jim interrupts himself, and motions in the Arab’s direction “Wait a minute here. You ever see a Chinese man paying so much respect to an Arab? I think there might be something going on here” They follow the group into the cafeferia and they see the Arab hand the Chinese guy some money. “ok… what the hell is going on here… an exchange of money?” “I think I can smell a rat when I see a rat.” The arab looks at them confused and tries to explain that he is just buying them lunch, but the two cops keep cutting him off and telling him they don’t take to that sort of silliness around here. They finally inform the arab that he needs to meet the officers in their office the next morning “We’re going to need to talk to you, my friend.”

Scene 19

Carolyn and Shoopa at the mailboxes. Awkward small talk “Hey, I haven’t seen you around much… Is everything going OK?” Nervousness, discomfort, Shoopa has no idea what to say to Carolyn. “I hear you’re doing pretty well in school.” “Yeah…well I’ve been studying pretty hard, you know. I finally broke down and joined Melanie’s study group” Carolyn is extremely genuine, and Shoopa is feeling almost shameful for outperforming an old friend, and leaving her behind for all the wrong reasons. Melanie stands with the rest of the gunner-bitches nearby, and makes a comment to Shoopa that helps draw a clear distinction between the gunner life and the non-gunner life. “Are you coming, Shoopa? We can talk to the commoners any time…” Shoopa makes an awkward last comment to Carolyn as she backs up, and says goodbye.

Scene 20

Police interrogation in shitty little office that is smoke-filled with a light shining on the Arab. “We don’t see your kind around here very often.” Jim and Buddy make some sweeping generalizations about Arabs, but manage NOT to offend this guy. The Arab guy is calm, and states “I am merely a visitor to your campus, and I completely deny all of these absurd charges.” They basically accuse the Arab of selling the Chinese women into slavery. They say, “I’ve read about this in magazines… I know what your all about!” Finally, the chief of police comes into the room and an argument ensues which ends up releasing this poor guy.

Scene 21

Camera follows a dripping trash beg that is carried over the shoulder of a black custodian. Slam! “Excuse me,” the custodian rudely exclaims to Richard after bumping his shoulder and walking on. Richard stands in the hallway at Parkland, rubbing his shoulder with a confused look on his face. He is wearing scrubs and a large backpack. His scrub top is way too small on him, and doesn’t match the bottoms, which are way too big on him. Patients and an occasional doctor walk by him, as Richard utters to himself “I am a total imposter.” Richard looks down at a clipboard, and walks forward, glancing up to look around this strange place.

Scene 22

Melanie, Wally, Carolyn, and Shoopa sit around a table with their intern, Reuben Strayer, and their medicine R2 Sheryl McCone, who is a sweetheart young lady – and essentially a matured Carolyn, but more socially hip. “I want you guys to like this rotation, so feel free to come talk to me if anything comes up. Now, I realize that you guys all know each other pretty well, but can we go around and everyone just tell me a bit about yourself.” Wally starts off kissing ass and blowing sunshine up his own ass. Reuben sits with a smirk.

Scene 23

Richard sees his medicine team standing in the hallway: Taylor, Becker, two gunner bitches, and Dr. Jackson – a medicine R2 who is standing in front of the students, talking about himself. This guy is a total dork, who obviously is taking full advantage of his position to receive as much attention from women as he can. As he speaks, the gunner bitches focus their full-attention on him, giggling at every stupid crack he makes. He turns to Richard and says sarcastically, “Oh great, another medical student.” Dr. Jackson says some brief words about himself “As I was explaining to your classmates here, I am…” making it painfully obvious that besides the attention he’s receiving from the gunner bitches, he is NOT interested in this meeting at all. “Why don’t you guys help me out a bit, here, because things are getting pretty busy around here. Richard, why don’t you go see the Rule-Out M.I. down in the ER. He’s been there for about 11 hours. And Becker, go see the Asthma in 608. Do your history and physical exam guys, and then report back to me this afternoon.” Taylor stands with a smile on his face, enjoying the interaction he is witnessing. Becker and Richard walk off together, and Becker makes a casual comment to Richard “That little stunt that you guys pulled in the bar was damn funny.” Then Becker’s casual-ness suddenly turns quite serious. “You guys fucked me pretty good.”

Scene 24

Cut back to Reuben’s resident group. Carolyn introduces herself. “I always wanted to be a doctor ever since my younger sister got sick with pneumonia…” Melanie and Shoopa also introduce themselves, in character of course, which humiliates and undermines what Carolyn had just expressed about herself. Sheryl is paged out of the room, and casually asks Reuben to sign out patients to the “studs.” Reuben with his studs. He expresses his harsh view on life as an intern, and his disgust with the students’ drive to impress.

Scene 25

Police Chief’s office. The Chief harangs his beat cops. They try to explain themselves, but just sound like idiots. “I got a call from the Saudi embasy, asking me why their ambassador was interrogated for…” “But sir, no offense to you or anything like that, but when something around here stinks, my job is to say ‘Hey, something stinks around here,’ and I’m gonna do my job. “Your job, Barney,” the Chief responds, “is to direct traffic!” “Now I’m very sorry, sir, but you may be underutilizing your man power here, sir. My resume was pretty clear about the experience I had over at the Wallmart, OK, and…” “Let me say it like this, Barney… One more fuck up and you’re out of here.” Barney and Buddy leave the room – Buddy whispers to his partner – “Don’t worry about that guy, Barney. He just doesn’t understand.”

Scene 26

Richard and Becker return to Dr. Jackson and report to him. Becker relays his story first – of his interview with the r/o MI old man and his wife, and all the information that he hammers out of them, but gives us the impression that he interrogated an unwilling patient in order to get there. Richard tells his story next, as short scenes flash on screen behind his voice, of his awkward patient interview, beginning with a hesitant knock, then walking in on an elderly man who is being clutched by his wife, who sits bedside in tears. His interview is very much like Eric and Jeff’s faculty-roast video skit. Richard reports that the couple didn’t seem very interested in speaking with him. This is the first hint the audience gets, that there is something more important than receiving the best grade in your class. In this scene, we see both sides of the coin – Richard, who is respectful of the patient but totally unable to collect any medically significant information, and Becker, who collected all the pertinent information but was inhumane in her interrogation.

Scene 27

Taylor and Richard, the end of a long day in the clinic. “How was your first day on the wards?” “Melanie seems to know so much more than me, and I think my resident thinks I’m a fucking idiot. But man, I can’t wait until all these chicks just surround me all the time.” “Hey, you think Dr. Jackson got that kind of attention in high school? Flash onto a high school campus, where Jackson is in high school, rejected by a small group of girls “Fuck off, geek!” Then back to Taylor and Richard. “You think the girls like him in college?” Flash onto a college campus, where Jackson is rejected by a the same (but older) group of girls “Fuck off, geek!” Then back to Taylor and Richard. “How about medical school?” Flash to the medical school, where Jackson is rejected by a different group of girls (these girls are even a bit nerdy) “Fuck off, geek.” Dr. Jackson is a social moron, though Richard is jealous of the attention Jackson gets from his inferiors. But Taylor warns Richard that Dr. Jackson continues to have social problems still, as a doc, and that he is someone you don’t EVER want to become. Richard responds with a confused look on his face, and ultimately brushes off his friend’s comments at this time in the story, because it still isn’t clear to Richard why someone would NOT want to be surrounded with such admiration. (Ultimately Richard will discover that he needs much more than mere admiration.)

Scene 28

An attending physician walks up to rounds. Jackson changes his demeanor dramatically. The attending asks Becker to gather up a patient’s stuff from the trauma room. “His tox-screen was positive for cocaine. Make sure he’s not stashing anything in his pockets, and take him up to the floor.” Richard offers to take over the scut, so Becker can go watch a procedure. A few minutes later, Jackson reminds Becker to “get that guy outta here.” Becker grabs the patient’s bag of stuff, and walks off with it, with the patient trailing behind. As he walks through the double doors, some of the stuff falls from the bag, just as the beat cops walk up. Cops pick up two bags of cocaine from the floor, interrogate Becker for it, slam him up against the wall [the ‘slam’ then becomes the sound of a door slamming, and we move into the attending’s office]. Becker and Richard sit behind the attending’s desk. Attending explains the surgical hierarchy and chain of command, and expectations when an order is given. Becker tries to pan it off on Richard, but is scorned for that, too. “I know that ain’t your cocaine, but...”

Scene 29

Becker slams through some double doors, with Wally pacing quickly behind. “Damn that guy!” Becker exclaims. Wally smiles, and unintentionally provokes Becker by asking “Yeah, what are we gonna do, Becker?!?” “I don’t know yet, but enough is enough with that son-of-a-bitch, making me look like an idiot in front of the attending. I’m number one in this class, and Richard Cartwright is NOT going to fuck this up for me. I’ll get here at 4:30 in the morning for the rest of the month, so I’ll know EVERYTHING about every patient on our floor for attending rounds.

Scene 30

Interaction between Shoopa and Richard – Shoopa scolds Richard for fucking with Becker “I know school changes all of us, but this is disgusting. I thought you were different.”

Scene 31

Jackson at the front of a line in a bookstore, dressed in clean, neatly tucked green hospital scrubs. Standing closely behind him in line is an elderly Jewish couple. “I can help you over here,” a middle-aged female clerk offers with a warm smile – obviously wanting to start conversation with Jackson but not knowing what to say. Becker casually says “Hi,” puts a book down on the counter, and looks away. “My niece is in nursing school.” “Is that right?” “She was going to go to medical school, but I don’t know why she changed her mind, so now she’s in nursing school.” The clerk desperately looks for Jackson’s response, but Jackson just stares straight ahead, and then turns to hear the conversation between the elderly Jewish couple who stand close by. They are bickering at each other. “What do you mean he’s a nurse? When was the last time you saw a nurse dressed like that?” “All the nurses at Kaiser hospital dress like that.” “That’s ridiculous, you’re thinking of that dental technician.” “No, no, the dental technicians wear the brown uniforms, not the green ones.” Jackson hesitates, then interrupts “I’m a physician.” “Of course you are, sweetie.” Jackson smiles and excuses himself, takes a few steps towards the exit, notices a young woman sitting alone at a table on the other side of the bookstore sipping tea, and decides to walk over. Camera cuts to a close up of the young woman at the table, with Jackson walking onto the scene and asking “Hi, can I join you?” She looks up with hesitation in her eyes, but quickly decides that there is no harm in saying “I suppose so.” Jackson introduces himself, she quickly inquires about the scrubs, and they launch into a conversation about his life as a doctor. She is utterly enamored by him, clearly because he is a doctor, which makes up for his quirky looks and self-centered conversation. He asks her out, and is surprised by her response “sure,” which she says with a smile.

Scene 32

Attending rounds. Becker, Richard, Reuben, and the Attending have dramatically different interpretations of this interaction. As the camera swings around the circle of players, it stops to look at each character’s face to reveal how that individual understands his role. This is done similarly to “High Fidelity,” where a dramatic fantasy interaction between characters is interrupted with a close-up face shot of the character that was envisioning the fantasy, and then played out in its actually-what-happened format. In Richard’s estimation, he himself stands stark naked (implied, not shown) before the rest of the group, who stand side-to side facing him, and is kicked square in the nuts by the Attending. In Reuben’s estimation, Becker kneels before the attending, who is sits in a large chair dressed as a King (robe and crown), and kisses his well-groomed bare feet. The Attending sees himself standing at a podium in an amphitheatre, bestowing knowledge upon an eager group of seated young students. Becker envisions himself standing at the plate with his bat in hand, the Attending pitching him fastballs, Becker slamming each one out of the ballpark.

Scene 33

Jackson is with a young dumb blonde chick who admires the hell out of him, but has nothing but stupid phrases to utter as she giggles softly. It is clear to the audience that there is nothing genuine about Jackson’s relationship with this girl – and that he is utterly sick of having her around, and frustrated with her idiocy.

Scene 34

Richard and Taylor at a bar. Richard describing the pimp scenes. Montage on scenes – pimping scenes where every time Richard is asked a question, Becker answers the question. Reuben intermixed “come on Becker, you know you want to answer the question.” Ends with Richard and Taylor in the bar, Richard cleanly burned out. Taylor comments on Richards expression that he’s burned out on this shit, and doubting his future in medicine “Sounds like you’re problem is Becker, not school.” “Why don’t you let me take care of this deal” “No, it’s totally not necessary, Taylor.” Richard expresses disappointment in his failed Shoopa relationship.

Scene 35

End of the day. Surgical resident (R3) talks to Richard, Becker, and Melanie. “We’ve got a circumcision to do tomorrow morning. Any of you guys interested in coming in early and prepping the patient?” Becker eagerly volunteers, and explains that he’s actually assisted on quite a few already. “I could probably even do the procedure myself.” The R3 smiles, “that’s great Becker, but why don’t you let me help you out on this one.” The next morning, Taylor is seen walking up to the nurses’ station, and switching the contents of two charts. He turns around and smiles as Becker walks up and grabs the ‘wrong’ chart. Becker walks into a patient’s room and announces “Sir, we’re going to get you fixed up here.” A middle-aged Indian patient responds “I thought my surgery was tomorrow, doctor.” “No, no, we’re set to go right now.” Becker calls for the nurse, and asks for some versed for 643.” Later, the R3 walks into the patient’s room with Becker, who walks towards the second bed as the R3 stops at the first bed (a young white trash guy). The R3 looks over at Becker, and then sighs as he moves over to join Becker at the second bed. The Indian lays calmly, staring up at Becker and the R3, and begins a brief monologue on how this error has resulted in him being permanently fucked up, and how he’ll be rejected by his wife and his community. He ends with a calm but angry threat.

Scene 36

Becker and Wally in the library, wearing scrubs. Other gunners and Melanie walk up to the table and join them. Becker interrupts Wally’s kissing-ass session to deliver a speech to the entire table. “Boys and girls, let there be no misunderstanding. Richard Cartwright and his kind are bringing us down.” Wally interjects “You’re god-damn right, man!” Becker continues “He has no business here – he’s an idiot, he’s totally incompetent, and if he ever makes it through medical school, he’ll become the worst doctor this institution has ever created. And that just looks bad for all of us, so I think you guys will agree that we GOT to do something here.” Melanie eagerly jumps on the bandwagon. Shoopa hesitates for a moment, but then jumps on too: “I think I got a couple of ideas.” The table erupts mildly in cheer. Everyone clears out. Becker talks at Shoopa, convincing her to lead his effort to ruin Richard. And in doing so, he summarizes the plot and builds her up as someone who has benefited greatly from joining the ‘gunner side.’

Scene 37

Shoopa speaks privately to Richard, expressing her pity for his financial situation (“I know you’re hurting for cash” following the house fire that occurred secondary to his roomie accidentally burning their place down. (Cut to Richard and Skeeter kicking through some ashes: Skeeter cursing himself.) Shoopa passes along a research opportunity in Dale’s basement “laboratory” - an opportunity to make $500 for an hour of his time. Splice with Becker’s private conversation with the campus police, incriminating Richard with solid evidence and anecdotes “I’m telling you guys this because I know you’d figure it our on your own.” (Becker strokes the cops’ egos.) “There’s some shit going on with the anatomy director.”

Scene 38

Back to graduation… but, this time “graduation” continues and is not stopped for Richards commentary.

Scene 39

Richard is dragged into a room (the same one that the Indian guy was interrogated in earlier in the film) and he is sat down in a chair with duck tape on his mouth next to Dale and two other guys who are tied to their chairs and all have duck tape on their mouths. One of the guys looks at Richard and winks. In the room… a video player, tv and not much else. There is a knock at the door and the Chief of police walks in yelling at the two cops for breaking up graduation… he says that of all their screw ups this could be the biggest one yet and he didn’t think that was really possible. They interrupt him and start explaining that they have “something big here” and he’ll be real darn proud of them when they find out the full extent of what they have uncovered. The police chief looks over at Richard and the three guys duck taped to their chairs and says, “who the hell are they.” They explain that “they” are the perpetrators and that the video will speak for itself… they put in the video and we see the tv screen of dales face coming into focus and you see Richard is sitting across from him and the other two guys who are now duck taped to their chairs.

Scene 40

Richard showing up at Dale’s home, meeting Dale’s two “buddies” who are in charge of the “experiment.” Richard ends up in front of the video camera that is playing in the interrogation room, but this is the live version of the video. An interview takes place where it is obvious to the audience that the two perceptions of what is about to occur are entirely different. From the conversations that follows, you can tell Richard believes that he is there to participate in a legitimate research study and Dale and his “associates” are preparing him for his porno debut… they are measuring, documenting and evaluating him as a potential star in upcoming “necrophilia” film.

Scene 41

Back in the interrogation room the two officers say, “see… I told you… see…” But the police chief answers with “you two morons… what the hell do you have here… this is not evidence of any crime… are you kidding me… were all going to be fired” They interrupt him and say they have another tape, and this one is REALLY incriminating. They put in the tape and an almost comical “gothic” dale explains that this is a REAL necrophilia video… there is a body behind him with a light shining on it… He goes through this whole thing about the video etc… The whole time this is going on dale and his buddies and trying to talk, but the duck tape on their mouths prevents anyone from understanding them. The police chief starts talking about how sick this is and the two cops act like they knew this all along. Every one is disgusted by the scene unfolding before their eyes and is commenting on it when Carolyn abruptly busts into the door with a girl. The cops grab her and start accusing her of being involved and she explain that they have it all wrong and there is no dead girl… in fact… the girl she has with her is the exact same girl in the video. On screen a close-up of the “dead” girl proves this and the chief of police demands to know what the hell is really going on. Carolyn explains that the whole thing was a set up done by a few of the people in Richard’s class and that it’s all a big misunderstanding. Dale is now really freaking out and the police chief notices that he and his buddies have been brutally duck taped to their chairs and says, “you can’t just duck tape someone down to a chair” The two cops explain that they just wouldn’t shut the hell up and the chief of police demands they be released so that he can get to the bottom of this. The two cops reluctantly rip the tape from dales mouth and after his eyes stop watering… he talks, this time with no gothic accent that he has had the whole time up to this point in the film. He explain that the whole thing is a business… they don’t pay him enough to teach anatomy to afford a pot to piss in, let alone have a big house and a Mercedes and he had to supplement his income… so he made up this weird guy named dale and started making videos. He sends them to weirdoes all across the country, who do “whatever” with them and he makes 24.99 a pop. He hires “dancers” to star in them and gives them a cut… they just have to lie really still and I put some eye makeup on them… no big deal. The chief of police starts yelling at the cops for ruining graduation and basically for getting all of them fired when dale interrupts them by saying it would be really great if no one in the room let his secret out… he really needs the dough… and the cops start to say that they are going to bust his ass when the chief of police interrupts them by saying that is a great idea and lets everyone go… Richard and Carolyn go into the hall and Richard starts to say this is all just too much for him…

Scene 42

Black screen with the words, “10 years later”

Richard is working at a pizza place… he is taking orders, making pies etc and his voice again is heard like in the first part of the film. He works on camera while he explains…

“I know what your thinking… why quit??? You were so close to being a doctor… why quit at your own graduation?”

He goes on to explain that he never went to medical school for the “right” reasons… it was his mom’s idea… along with his wrong impression of what being a doctor was all about. He says that there are people who go for the right reasons and the scene switches to a few of the people in the class who are working in clinics and looking very happy, but that for him… he is happier now. He starts locking up the store and explains that Taylor is…

Scene 43

Cut to an African clinic… Taylor, a really hot blond nurse and an African male in Zimbabwe… the black man is dressed in full African gear and yelling there is something wrong with his penis and the doctor must help him with this… Taylor looks at the camera with a smirk and says… “I think I can help you with that”

Scene 44

Richard locks the door and turns around to see and older and now VERY pretty Carolyn standing next to a 5 year old girl. His narration continues and states that he is very happy in his life now and that his wife is an exceptionally caring and great physician. He walks to them and gives them a hug and turn around to the camera and says, “ok… don’t think for a minute think that I forgot… you want to know what happens to Becker, well…”

Scene 45

This scene begins with a shot of the front of a huge house and inside, we see Becker is married to Shoopa and it is obvious to the audience that they are not happy. Becker is cheating on her with his nurse and Shoopa is cheating on him with her masseuse. They are very rich and seem to be doing well from the outside (scene is shot as a kind of montage). It ends with a shot of their street… a couple walking down the sidewalk holding the hand of a cute 6-year-old boy. They walk in front of the Stevenson’s mansion and the mother looks at it and says, “Tommy… do you know who lives there?” He looks at her inquisitively and she continues, “…that’s Dr Stevenson’s house. The two doctors who live there must be VERY happy… you’re a smart boy… maybe YOU could be a doctor when you grow up and you’ll be happy too.”